This crazy French Open is making me queasy.
I’m discombobulated. . .bitten by the upset bug. . . suffering from clay-induced vertigo. . .my thoughts are bobbing up and down like buoys in a stormy sea. . .then diving and leaping like Gael Monfils on a clay court.
Excuse me while I get my bearings. Or should I say: barings?
From GTT’s legal department: No comments printed in this post shall be found to “jinx” Roger Federer, regardless of the outcome of this tournament. (I’m so superstitious, I might add this disclaimer to the top of the home page.)
The best commentator-speak of the moment: Suddenly, the French Open men’s draw is as open as the women’s. At least the ladies have a former RG champion still in the mix, along with the World No. 1/last year’s runner up. Roger Federer stands alone on the men’s side, like a solitary polar bear roaming the icy tundra in a nature documentary. Will the earth crack beneath him before he snags his prize?
Fedophile test: What do you feel when looking at the following head-to-heads?
- Federer vs. Gonzalez: 12-1
- Federer vs. Monfils: 4-0
- Federer vs. Del Potro: 5-0
- Federer vs. Robredo: 8-0
- Federer vs. Soderling: 9-0
- Federer vs. Murray (who lost today to Gonzo): 2-6
Fed Fan = surging emotions of excitement and happiness
Fedophile = a slow, creeping sense of impending doom
Change of topic: Who is crying harder right now, Novak Djokovic or Rafael Nadal? (I pick Nole, for losing to Kohlschreiber, who then lost to Robredo in the next round.)
Have the hiccups? This should help: Robin Soderling, 2009 Roland Garros Champion.
Guess who texted Soderling: “Congratulations, and thank you for not letting Nadal break my record.’”?
Please Tennis Gods, stop the madness and give us a Safina vs. Serena final!
If forced to root for dark horses, I’d pick Monfils and Stosur. Does Kuznetsova qualify as a long shot, or not?
The cheering hierarchy of the Parisian crowd:
- French
- Underdogs
- Players on the brink of straight-set demolition (which explains Sharapova’s unexpected boost today while flaming out to Cibulkova)
- Anyone not named Serena Williams or Rafael Nadal (at least after what Uncle Toni said.)
We need a little help from our friends: Please join us on Wednesday for a Tennis Party! We’ll send an invite via Twitter – or just check in during Fed vs. Monfils.
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