Journalist Peter Bodo reports that Roger Federer’s baby is going to destroy his tennis career. Okay, he doesn’t come right out and say it like that – it’s more like he baby-steps around the issue. I’m not saying he’s wrong, I’m just saying that Bodo can be pretty funny sometimes. Here are some of the money quotes, or click here to read the very entertaining (and kinda bizarre) original.
The “gut” reaction (Bodo’s, not Mirka’s):
My gut reaction to the news we all had yesterday is: Roger needs more complications now like he needs a hole in the head. On the other hand, some complications are better than others, and some are positively life – and career – enhancing.
Thanks a lot, Bodo:
. . .relax now, Federer fans, but start sweating bullets when the US Open rolls around and Roger is up at 3 am, bouncing little Nike (if it’s a girl) on his shoulder to make him cease crying.
I’m not gettin’ the tube-tying reference here:
The problem, if that the right word, is that even tough guys tend to go a little Jell-O when they’re about to have a kid (in some cases, the spine has been known to grow back shortly after the Missus has her tubes tied), and at some point in a dogfight with a free-ranging stud like Novak Djokovic, or Andy Murray, Federer might look up at the scoreboard, and instead of seeing 6-7, 7-5, 5-5, 30-40 he’ll magically see some variation of the phrase: Who the hail needs this crap, I’m going to be a father!
I’m thinking this article reveals a lot more about its author than its subject:
Significantly, even if you do trend toward the cold-hearted, a pregnancy is one of the few things you can’t just slough off on some aide de camp or courtier. What’s Roger going to do, turn to Tony Godsick and say, “Tony, Mirka’s being a little needy, go hang out with her for a little while – we just got Marley and Me on DVD. . .” Now that I think of it, though, given what we know about Roger (Im not the only one who’s seen him cry), it might be Mirka saying, Tony, Roger’s being a little needy. . . etc. etc. It works that way in some cases. Fatherhood brings men to their knees, which most women will tell you is where they belong anyway. Unfortunately, sometimes bearing their child is the only reliable way for a women to get them there.
To be fair, Bodo does say that the baby might bring a refreshed perspective to Roger and his camp and help him get out of any kind of funk that he might find himself in, professionally. Honestly, I don’t really care to speculate on this one – I’d rather let sleeping babies lie, so to speak – but heck, I’ll still look forward to reading more crazy articles like this one!